"Faith is risking hwat is for what is yet to be. It is taking small steps knowing they lead to bigger ones. Faith is holding on when you want to let go. It is letting go when you want to hold on"
I will walk by faith even though I cant see. This my friends is the next step... from San Diego to San Francisco. it will be a challenge, but Im ready for what God has in store...
Monday, October 23, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Seasons of love...
Going through a season of immersion and of gathering. In a sense life is so confusing right now. Sure I have no phone, sure Im less involved on campus. I literally feel like Im dying and stripped bare down to simplicity. As Balou from Jungle Book says, "The Bare Necessities". God, friends, work, school. Thats it. Also throw in some Chinese, which is why Ive included this "Ecclesiates" in Chinese. Seasons, sweet seasons, this happens to be a challenging one...
Friday, October 06, 2006
Summer times
Thursday, July 06, 2006
A newfound garden Current mood: contemplative
"A beautiful garden grows and fluorishes within her soul; a great awakening, a new revival, a refreshing experience"
A phrase written some time ago finally arrives at reality. Learning how dreams and desires come to life. I am coming to life once again. Here I am, a camp in a far away land where there is fewer voices and less distractions. All past is eliminated. My view is focused, my soul finds itself found, and my heart yearns for more of meaning and value in everything. I refuse to settle and to listen to what is not attuned with the chimes of the Lords whisper and spirit. My spirit I will not abandoned. My physical body has been revived by the spirit that resides within and produces a flow of energy throughout.
I choose to let go. I used to strive off of external expression and impression. I used to rely on my own understanding of my body's limits and my own minds capacity. I used to maintain my relationships based on convenience and meeting different needs. I used to carry on so much for what little I would offer. I choose to take the path much higher and freeer, in which I can experience God on a new level, in a continum of epignosis (experiencing Him in the moment).
You see my frame of mind is so narrow and my sense of direction is so weak. But leave it to God to point the arrow into the land of everlasting, flowing of milk and honey, with an abundant harvest to grow and invest in.
"When there is no wood, the fire goes out" Prov. 26:20.
You see there is no means of survival without purpose and passion. Everything I do I want to revolve around these two things. Otherwise Im leading an Ecclesiastes life, one that is vain, meaningless, and hopeless. But I choose to be joyful and content in this moment of rush, confusion, an array of decisions, physical weakness, and foggy clouds roaming upon my eyelids.
My eyes get easily distracted and lustful if I do not have them fixed on the Lord. My heart falls into traps of fantasy and adultery if I do not search His heart and discover what its like. My feet stumble if I plan my own steps.
"There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lords counsel will stand." Prov. 19:21
So I sit before the stand, the crowd, or perhaps just at His throne in complete awe, peace. Sitting on a mountaintop in the middle of only God knows where leads me only to ask "whats next? how can fully receive the ultimate abundance? How can I give love to all, big, tall, colored or small?
Truth is God sees no colors, cultural boundaries, or even the ugliest of who I am inside..
Im coming back to the heart of worship where its about Jesus. Dwelling in His presence, occupied by His work, and living in His truth
A newfound garden Current mood: contemplative
"A beautiful garden grows and fluorishes within her soul; a great awakening, a new revival, a refreshing experience"
A phrase written some time ago finally arrives at reality. Learning how dreams and desires come to life. I am coming to life once again. Here I am, a camp in a far away land where there is fewer voices and less distractions. All past is eliminated. My view is focused, my soul finds itself found, and my heart yearns for more of meaning and value in everything. I refuse to settle and to listen to what is not attuned with the chimes of the Lords whisper and spirit. My spirit I will not abandoned. My physical body has been revived by the spirit that resides within and produces a flow of energy throughout.
I choose to let go. I used to strive off of external expression and impression. I used to rely on my own understanding of my body's limits and my own minds capacity. I used to maintain my relationships based on convenience and meeting different needs. I used to carry on so much for what little I would offer. I choose to take the path much higher and freeer, in which I can experience God on a new level, in a continum of epignosis (experiencing Him in the moment).
You see my frame of mind is so narrow and my sense of direction is so weak. But leave it to God to point the arrow into the land of everlasting, flowing of milk and honey, with an abundant harvest to grow and invest in.
"When there is no wood, the fire goes out" Prov. 26:20.
You see there is no means of survival without purpose and passion. Everything I do I want to revolve around these two things. Otherwise Im leading an Ecclesiastes life, one that is vain, meaningless, and hopeless. But I choose to be joyful and content in this moment of rush, confusion, an array of decisions, physical weakness, and foggy clouds roaming upon my eyelids.
My eyes get easily distracted and lustful if I do not have them fixed on the Lord. My heart falls into traps of fantasy and adultery if I do not search His heart and discover what its like. My feet stumble if I plan my own steps.
"There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lords counsel will stand." Prov. 19:21
So I sit before the stand, the crowd, or perhaps just at His throne in complete awe, peace. Sitting on a mountaintop in the middle of only God knows where leads me only to ask "whats next? how can fully receive the ultimate abundance? How can I give love to all, big, tall, colored or small?
Truth is God sees no colors, cultural boundaries, or even the ugliest of who I am inside..
Im coming back to the heart of worship where its about Jesus. Dwelling in His presence, occupied by His work, and living in His truth
One Sweet World
"A Travellin soldier"
We are being conditioned daily for battle. Nothing can defeat us. It requires sacrifice and a willingness to let go. We have no control of what will happen next. Right here, yes, in this moment, we can choose to encourage someone else, to take the focus off our selves, to listen and learn, to rise up and speak up, to focus, to take responsibility, and work hard. But sometimes our efforts just arent enough. I realize this more and more as Im living moment by moment in my last semester in San Diego. My knowledge of math, religions in India,and science is limited, my time is even less between school and work, and my ability to do my best does not rest only on me. I dont have what it takes to get through. All I can do is pray, ask questions, and build the relationships around me. So glad to know that Im not in this alone. For the first time, Im finding the importance of investing in priorities: Ive had a sudden focus shift in priorities; to value, set aside time for, to reach inside for strength, pleading God! Help me! To be a better friend, to be a better steward of my money, to be a good student. We are called to excell in all things; live above and beyond what all have seen or expect. I will endure because my student whose parent wants to send them back to the midwest is enduring, because the homeless man that fell right before me will endure, because my mom who is losing all her daughters who choose directions away from hom will endure, because the soldiers in Iraq will endure. We will endure in this battle!
We are being conditioned daily for battle. Nothing can defeat us. It requires sacrifice and a willingness to let go. We have no control of what will happen next. Right here, yes, in this moment, we can choose to encourage someone else, to take the focus off our selves, to listen and learn, to rise up and speak up, to focus, to take responsibility, and work hard. But sometimes our efforts just arent enough. I realize this more and more as Im living moment by moment in my last semester in San Diego. My knowledge of math, religions in India,and science is limited, my time is even less between school and work, and my ability to do my best does not rest only on me. I dont have what it takes to get through. All I can do is pray, ask questions, and build the relationships around me. So glad to know that Im not in this alone. For the first time, Im finding the importance of investing in priorities: Ive had a sudden focus shift in priorities; to value, set aside time for, to reach inside for strength, pleading God! Help me! To be a better friend, to be a better steward of my money, to be a good student. We are called to excell in all things; live above and beyond what all have seen or expect. I will endure because my student whose parent wants to send them back to the midwest is enduring, because the homeless man that fell right before me will endure, because my mom who is losing all her daughters who choose directions away from hom will endure, because the soldiers in Iraq will endure. We will endure in this battle!
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